First of all you can’t teach character. Let’s start there!
“The human personality forms itself by itself…” Maria Montessori, The Secret of Childhood, p. 31
Children are born with their own unique character; it is not something that anyone outside of self can develop. It can however be nurtured and supported by the environment surrounding the child which is one of many reasons why the child must be protected, nurtured and guided effectively by adults throughout their unfolding journey.
“The child strives to assimilate his environment and from such efforts springs the deep-seated unity of his personality.” Maria Montessori, The Secret of Childhood, p. 31
Children have, what Montessori calls a vital creative energy that emerges through a child’s spontaneous manifestations. By allowing the child to build and explore their vast imprints upon the environment freely, the personality of that child is revealed and can be nurtured.
“A system of education that is based on liberty ought to aim at assisting a child in obtaining it, and should have as its specific aim the freeing of the child from those ties which limit its spontaneous manifestations. Little by little, as a child proceeds along this way, he will freely manifest himself with greater clarity and truth and thus reveal his own proper nature.” Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child, p. 57
Now these vital creative energies and spontaneous manifestations of children are not something they are consciously aware of initially but are an unconscious drive from within. Montessori believes that the blueprint of our character is formed by age two.
“All that we ourselves are has been made by the child we were in the first two years of our life…” Montessori Maria, The Absorbent Mind, page 6
At age two the child is engaged with the environment using what Montessori coins the “Absorbent Mind”. The Absorbent Mind is the description she gives to the first plane of development; early childhood. Let’s explore this plane briefly to see why she would feel that our personality is formed at such an early age.
The Blue Print
Montessori pedagogy divides child development ages and stages into four;
- Early Childhood (0-6)
- Childhood (6-12)
- Adolescence (12-18)
- Maturity (18-24)
At each plane of development the individual reveals intellectual powers, develops social orientations and possesses creative potentials that are unique to each plane.
“The formation of a person’s psychological characteristics takes place in the very early periods.” Maria Montessori The 1946 London Lectures, p. 39
By understanding the characteristics of the Absorbent Mind, we can better support the child in curating and refining their personality and character. Montessori further splits this plane of development into:
- The Unconscious Absorbent Mind (0-3)
- The Conscious Absorbent Mind (3-6)
The child from birth is very busy indeed! Busy figuring out how to raise his head, lift his limbs, sit, stand, walk, talk and so forth. All the while absorbing the sounds and sights, the tastes and touches, the smells – all very unconsciously. At age two, the age at which Montessori believes the blueprint of personality has been formed, the child is busy absorbing everything in his or her environment. This is paramount to understand because through this absorption the child shapes their personality. The child is forming his character by seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, tasting and then enacting what has been present and repeated in his or her environment. Only some time later do we see the effects of this absorption by the way a child tries to copy the adult. The way they talk, the way they drink, the way they react to the television or another person or thing. During the later years of this plane of development the child makes a conscious effort to shape his or her thoughts and movements with intent and again through mimicking the adults in the environment.
“Impressions do not merely enter a child’s mind; they form it.” Montessori Maria, The Absorbent Mind, page 26
It is how we prepare for and nurture the development of this absorbent mind, as adults guiding the child that influences the child’s personality.
“Certainly it is a new task that confronts us, to study and take into account the needs of this absorbent mind. It is to respond to these needs that we say, ‘Education must begin at birth’. We must provide the child’s psychic powers with the nourishment they require.” Maria Montessori The 1946 London Lectures, p. 67
Let’s look at some characteristics that most loving parents and committed teachers would like to see in a child!
Pearls of Personality
Focused!
“The first essential for the child’s development is concentration. It lays the whole basis for his character and social behaviour.” Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 202
All the way through school, the child is required to ‘Stay focused!’ and ‘Concentrate!’ Yet how is focus developed? Toddlers and young children are always on the move. This is because children learn by doing. It would appear that a toddler or young child does not have the ability to concentrate for long periods of time; always on the move- running, climbing, getting into every nook and cranny in the home – but this is far from the truth once a child is normalised.
Normalisation is a term used within Montessori pedagogy and practice to describe a child who is able to work consistently both independently and cooperatively without straying focus and with an inner joy and enthusiasm for the activity or ‘work’ being completed. How does a child become normalised? I am sure, if you work with children, you can quickly identify what a particular child enjoys doing (apart from watching TV or playing on a device!). That thing that they can spend hours doing is the tool in which focus is developed and normalisation occurs.
Montessori designed the prepared environment with beautiful materials that are captivating to the child’s need to develop his or her external and internal self. In the prepared environment a child can freely satisfy their spontaneous curiosities whilst simultaneously refining the senses, preparing for independence, exercising the muscles and so much more. Once a child has found a material they are interested in, their focus begins to lengthen and strengthen.
“He needs not only to touch things and to work with them, but to follow a sequence of actions to its completion, and this is of the greatest importance in the inward building-up of his personality.” Maria Montessori The Secret of Childhood, p. 175
The child in a prepared environment doesn’t just choose an activity. They first need to prepare the space where they would like to complete the activity by spreading a mat in that area; table or floor. After they have finished working with the activity they also have to return it to its rightful place and fold and put away the mat. This is called the “work cycle” and is also beneficial in developing focus as well as creating order and routine within the child.
“Through concentration important qualities of character develop.” Maria Montessori, Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 22
Diligent!
“The little child’s need for order is one of the most powerful incentives to dominate his early life.” Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 173
Establishing order comes through diligence and does not just refer to order within the environment but order within the child. A child creating themselves during the Absorbent Mind phase is already diligently compartmentalising their environment in order to understand it mentally. Bearing in mind that the child learns from the environment through their senses, the Sensorial Area of a prepared environment provides the necessary concrete experiences as well as a plethora of language to identify and order their understanding of the world around them.
For example, food is something all children need and engage with daily. We also know that there are variety of different textures, flavours, smells and visual differences but a child is still learning this and the language needed to differentiate between the sour tangy taste of a lemon and the sweet gooey taste of a banana; the long thin strands of spaghetti and the bow shaped ripple edged form of farfalle pasta; the sweet smell of mangoes and the pungent smell of cheese all need to be meticulously modelled, repeated regularly and experienced for the child to be able to classify the different experiences for his or herself.
Armed with all these concrete experiences, the language acquisition that goes with it and with the diligent routine of the work cycle the child is truly at work building his or her character through deep concentration.
“…without work his personality cannot organise itself.” Maria Montessori The Secret of Childhood, p. 195
Respectful!
Respect is earned not given! This is a very fitting saying to describe how a child develops their understanding of respect. Without first showing the child respect, how can the child know how to give it?
“Every detail of a child’s life has rules, mysterious laws. Every detail is of importance, so we must respect everything, even if it does not seem logical to us.” Maria Montessori The 1946 London Lectures, p. 52
As adults it is important to understand that every stage of child development is important in curating the adult we wish the child to be; including the annoying everything goes in the mouth stage, the why why why phase, the angry outbursts of an adolescent, and the list goes on. Although these may be quite frustrating to us at times, the development of the child’s personality in regards to respect is shaped through your reaction to all these stages. If a child sees that you are short and dismissive of what it is they are navigating, they too will become this to themselves and others. This is why patience is definitely a virtue when guiding children.
Another aspect of respect or lack thereof that the child learns from the adult is that of helpless help. When a child is working out a particular activity, let’s say laying the table; if the child is not doing so correctly, swooping in to correct should be avoided.
In all Montessori materials there is what is called the control of error. The control of error is something that clearly indicates when the child has not completed the activity correctly. It is a very indispensable tool in developing the child’s self confidence, independence and self esteem. No one really enjoys being corrected and it is the same for the child. To be able to correct themselves through problem-solving is far more impactful than being corrected by an adult.
In the laying the table practical life activity, the control of error is a sheet depicting the correct position of all the cutlery and crockery. This sheet is initially laid over the tray of which the cutlery and crockery is laid upon. After a while the sheet is then removed and referenced only when or if the child needs it.
In a nutshell, as hard as it may be, as long as it is safe to do so, do not interrupt the child when he or she is working out how to correctly do an activity. Respecting the child’s own process in turn models the expected behaviour and the child will understand to do the same with him or herself and others.
“Because the teacher respects each child and refrains from interference, the children treat one another with the same respect and kindness.” Maria Montessori, Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 61
Patient!
“…if a teacher has enough patience to repeat an exercise as often as a child, she can measure in herself the energy and endurance possessed by a child of a determined age.” Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child, p. 153
If you want to learn any new skill, patience is a must. For a young child, every experience is still pretty new and only through repetition can any new skill be mastered. Repeating something often for adults can be quite annoying but when a footballer, for example, wants to master a new skill, repeating it over and over- ironing out any kinks in the process – is essential. Learning to be patient with yourself in the process of learning a new skill eases the navigating of that new skill. Patience develops resilience and a deeper understanding. It requires perseverance.
For a child using his or her Absorbent Mind, patience looks like taking their sweet time to complete a task. Really, what’s the rush? It looks like repeating the same activity over and over again until that sigh of satisfaction is heard. To interrupt the child’s work is not only not showing respect but actually interrupting the acquisition of greater understanding and breaking their concentration which can be quite damaging.
“If you interfere impatiently and stop some absorbing occupation, you will destroy your child’s concentration and perseverance – valuable lessons he is teaching himself –, he will be dissatisfied and filled with a sense of disappointment and restlessness, and may very likely find an outlet in deliberate mischief.” Maria Montessori Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 42-43
What an insight into some reason why a child may not act agreeably!
By modelling patience with yourself and being patient with others, the child can absorb this skill from the environment (which includes you if you hadn’t clocked by now) and apply it to him or herself and others.
Resilient!
“In [a Montessori] school the teacher stands by, she does not correct or interfere with the child’s work. When something goes wrong she waits to be asked for help, but most often a child persists until he himself does it right. This is perseverance, the beginning of will power which is so important a part of personality.” Maria Montessori, Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 60-61
Resilience is such an important characteristic in a world where challenges always arise. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again!’ The ability to bounce back is priceless and should be encouraged. Children learn to be resilient by observing how adults and older children around them tackle challenges amongst other things. In a prepared environment, a child works within vertical groups. Younger children always seem to admire older children. They want to be like them. If a child attempts an activity but is unable to correctly complete it can be off putting. By seeing others older than them completing activities within the environment however, it gives them an incentive to work on it again; persevering until they finally master it and feel that joy and satisfaction of acquiring a new skill.
“Now the little child manifests perseverance in his work as the first constructive act of his psychical life, and upon this act builds up internal order, equilibrium, and the growth of personality.” Maria Montessori The Advanced Montessori Method Volume I, p. 139
Children who are given the space and encouragement to work out challenges themselves, build resilience through perseverance. They then become an example and inspiration to others. Modelling how to navigate challenges as an adult also supports the child’s understanding of how to persevere with patience; in turn forming a resilient nature within the child.
Cooperative!
A cooperative child is one who is able to work or move with others in an agreeable fashion. An individual who can empathise and support others collaboratively. The social experiences of the child greatly impact the ability to cooperate effectively.
In the prepared environment there is only one set of every material. If one child is playing with an activity another wants to play with; they have to wait until the child playing has completed the work cycle and replaced the material before they can begin their own work cycle with that said material. This is by design to encourage the development of patience and an understanding of how to work together as a group.
Another impactful element of the development of cooperation is the practice of grace and courtesy skills.
“Children like to learn all the courtesies of social life. If one teaches them, they are interested to know how to greet, how to excuse themselves when they pass in front of other people etc.” Maria Montessori Citizen of the World, p. 35
When a child learns how to use basic manners and be helpful to self and others they feel confident in doing so and it puts them in great stead for contributing effectively within the community at large.
When the child reaches the third plane of development, they are concerned about where they fit in their community – seeking to discover what their purpose is in life. During this phase, encouraging and supporting the pre-adolescent and adolescent to organise social events within their community is also a great way to develop cooperation skills.
”For the ‘valorisation’ of the child’s personality there must be a very definite basis in social experiences.” Maria Montessori Citizen of the World, p. 29
Self-disciplined!
“When a child is tirelessly trying to make patterns with his blocks simply because he is interested, there is no need for outside discipline, the child is disciplining himself.”
Maria Montessori Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 13
Montessori saw self discipline as a vital quality of a strong character. Through the perseverance of mastering a skill, self-discipline is developed. Through the patience of waiting for an activity to become available, self-discipline is developed, through the understanding of being courteous, self-discipline is developed and through the completion of a work cycle, self-discipline is developed. All these experiences and opportunities to develop self-discipline before the age of six. Self-discipline cannot be taught but can be developed through experiences.
“Those who say it is our duty to keep the child in blind obedience, that we have a right to correct, and that in consequence the child will become intelligent, good and instructed are deceiving themselves.” Maria Montessori, Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 17
When a child is told what to do and they do it; this does not encourage self-discipline; it encourages a reliance on external validation. Self-discipline is hinged upon internal validation and control.
“There is no punishment or reward in our schools to interfere with the joy in the work itself. The only reward is in the completion of the work – it is at this time that internal discipline establishes itself, and the foundations of character are laid.” Maria Montessori Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 22
Throughout the physical development of the child, he or she works on controlling their movements; learning how to carry out tasks carefully and with precision. To master how to pour a glass of water without any spillages, there needs to be strength in the arms as well as good hand-eye coordination and a calm disposition. All this occurs through the ability to concentrate extensively. All the above takes self-discipline.
“The more the capacity to concentrate is developed, the more often the profound tranquillity in work is achieved, then the clearer will be the manifestation of discipline within the child.” Maria Montessori, The Child in the Family, p. 38
Self-accepting!
Truly knowing and accepting oneself requires a deep exploration and appreciation for all aspects of one’s personality; even the elements that still may need balancing. This level of self-acceptance usually occurs later on in life. For a young child there is no issue of doubting self; they demonstrate quite often to adults that it is ok not to know things… yet! As they become more aware of self and begin to formulate ideas about who they are and what their purpose is, self-doubt often creeps in. This is why it is important that all experiences prior to the turbulence of the third plane are based on an understanding and deep respect and love for the child.
“becoming aware of one’s own value: valorisation: Without this, as many psychologists say, the child only feels his own value if he is loved.” Maria Montessori, Citizen of the World, p. 28-29
As stated, children do not need praise nor do they need criticism. Whilst ensuring that externally the child is supported; it is the development of internal validation through self-correcting activities and the like that is most important. With all the above mentioned qualities intact the child’s internal voice is sure to be heard and validated. Growing in an environment where whomever they are whenever they are however they are is accepted encourages that inner voice to strengthen further. This in turn will assist in the development of their own healthy self-esteem and self-acceptance.
Happy!
“A child’s needs are simple, and a happy childhood needs only simple surroundings.” Maria Montessori Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents, p. 72
Happiness is an inside job yet when a child is given an environment that nourishes him or her, is supported and guided but not suffocated or restricted, the freeness to grow and develop is experienced with an inner joy and peace like no other. This is because the mastering of self is occurring and that invokes happiness within any child.
“We observe that a child occupied with matters that awaken his interest seems to blossom, to expand, evincing undreamed of character traits; his abilities give him great satisfaction, and he smiles with a sweet and joyous smile.” Maria Montessori, Citizen of the World, p. 96
Supporting a child to master self and curate his or her personality involves ensuring that the environment is prepared, observing without judgement and following the progress of the child; understanding where and how scaffolding is required and where it is not. It involves the development of character through movement, control and focus.
“The child who concentrates is immensely happy.” Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 249
Allowing the child’s spontaneous manifestations to occur, without fussing or interceding during times you may consider breakthroughs or breakdowns or challenges aids the child in shaping the adult he or she will become. The experiences of the child literally become his or her character.
“The children find joy, satisfaction and exhilaration in work… Work thus becomes the sine-qua-non of growth, development, efficiency and happiness.” Maria Montessori, What You Should Know About Your Child, p. 136
To conclude, supporting your child’s development of character includes modelling the expected behaviour within the environment the child experiences as well as ensuring the child develops and strengthens his ability to concentrate. Children’s characters are innate within them; so reflecting that which you wish to see will definitely have an effective influence on the curation of the child’s personality yet that which needs protecting is the untouchable, incomprehensible existence of the inner life of the child busy creating the adult who he or she will become.
“The child has been the constructor of every one of us. Before we became an important adult, a respected person, a person who takes his part in society, we have been another personality, a personality very mysterious, not considered in this world, not respected, a person that has no importance, no choice. Yet he is capable of something we cannot do – he is capable of constructing an immense world in a way we cannot even imagine of doing.” Maria Montessori Citizen of the World, p. 44
Anthea Davidson-Jarrett BA Hons, PGCE, Montessori Dip.